This episode, we give some tips on how to online date.
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Hello and welcome back to another episode of Lastest Time. Yes, y'all. It's your girl, Mezie and Baby, Nia, and the lieutenant. Her.
And it's your stepfather, Big Burn, and this motherfucker. We just on some Big Burn vibes today. I'm really feeling Big Burn. I like that it's going and we taking with it. Big Burn, Big Burn. Big Burn and not the little one. And not the little one. Why is that? Who came up and started that shit? Oh yeah, Big Burn, but not the little one.
Big guy. The big guy. Not the little guy.
I don't know.
I don't know. I hate whoever did. And I also hate whoever came up with it. Oh, they did they big one. Like, they did they big.
I really do.
Yo, they did they big one. It is for any and every fucking thing. I'm like, what are we talking about? Yeah, you do your big one.
You guys should have sat down too.
Oh my god.
What the fuck? Get active. Everybody get active, because I'm getting active too.
Columbia next to two. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
Natalie, please. Yo, I was all set with her when she said, she said, yeah, bitch, anytime you touch down in my city, you gotta check in with me. Anytime you touch down in the bay, you gotta check in with me. Girl, shut up.
Oh, Mally, please.
I was fucking in shit with you. Girl, stand up. Oh my god.
She said, yeah, bitch, every time you touch it down in the bed, you gotta check in with me. What?
Yo, it's the level of shit talking now that I just kind of love about Natalie. She's always done it now. She's always done it. She's been doing it since her. She's a bad girl. So like, what are you talking about?
I don't do like...
I'm just be talking shit.
Everybody get active, can I get an active too? Sitting in the chair, sits in the chair and that's eyelashes. She was sick.
She was sad.
Met that. Oh, she did get up though. She did get up and get active though. I'm not even gonna lie.
She did get up and she did her big one.
She ate that one. She ate that one. She ate that one little thing. She ate that one.
See you then, mate. See you then.
Um, okay, y'all, we have a whole episode planned for y'all. As we talk about fucking daddy's west, daddy's east is coming. Oh my gosh. And the cabaret. So you fit in the hit auditions or what's up, sis? We want to get us on it. Me about to get us on the cabaret. Yeah.
First of all, this fool asked me that earlier and I was like, hey, who, where?
Honestly, like I said, I was like, Nia would probably be removed from the first episode from beating somebody up the first day, if not Jocelyn for talking to her crazy because it's just not gonna happen. Oh my God, would you be one of the girls beating somebody up at the book house?
I wouldn't make it. I don't think I would make it through the audition process, let alone the show.
girls say I can't jump out like six girls outside. Nah.
And you feel it in?
And they said, you know what, you know what, mama, you still here, wig was gone. You know what, mama, you still here, so let's give you that pink slip. What?
I'm sorry, six girls is crazy.
Like anything more than two is crazy. And you still win an audition? If anything, I'm coming back and airing that bitch out. Everybody about it.
I don't really know.
I'm airing that bitch out. Are you kidding me?
12 hands and feet on your ass?
Six bitches. 12 feet. 12 hands.
Karen into your ass. Yeah, nah.
Mm-mm. No, I would not be doing no ratchet shit like that.
Honestly, I couldn't do the Bad Boys Club either, so I'm...
Also, like, they're gonna want us to dance and stuff like that, and I'm not gonna be able to be serious for even two seconds.
trying to be sexy and be a stripper. Because I'm gonna be laughing.
There's no way. There's no way.
Mm-mm. I'm too goofy for that. I'm not gonna be... I'm too un-serious. It's not gonna happen.
That is true, like are there any, shout out to any of my goofy strippers, are there any goofy strippers that be like, you know what, they be like.
It's gonna be a phase. I'll be a little tired out. I'm gonna be last. It's not gonna be professional. It's not gonna be, no. I don't know. It's gonna be a phase. I'll be a little tired out. I'm gonna be last. It's not gonna be professional. It's not gonna be, no.
Thank you. That is true.
There is true, there's a level of like, you do have to like take yourself seriously, you can't crack up.
I have a massive herpetarium, I can't. Cause the way I'll be cracking up on that pole will be hilarious. Oh my God. Shout.
Okay, so this is coming hot off of the motherfucking press, aka not hot off the press at war, but there was a question that was being asked and dating over 30. Low key, this is almost. I'm sorry.
I'm doing it.
It's almost, but not yet, not yet.
But not yet. Don't play with it. Don't fuck you play with it.
Don't play with it.
Okay, so it says Do you delete exes from social media? So it seems to be pretty juvenile from being in our mid late 30s Okay, hold on now Hold on. This is this is silo. No, I mean Hold on I didn't get into the rest of I didn't know she was coming hot like that Hold on, but she said I wanted to remove a guy that I dated last year from my social media I just realized I posted about him in the subs
Hold on. Oh, this wave, lay off.
He just sits right there on social media and I hate that he has access to what's happening in my life. He does not communicate with me at all and has bailed twice on plants. He made that post breakup and even though we decided to stay friends, we never text, he never texted back, but sees my posts and stories. It's annoying me. The breakup was very hard for me. I still think about it sometimes despite having had several dating experiences since then, I'm still kind of hurt. Does it come across as petty to delete him now?
She is the one who is still having access to her life and I think that's like a valid
a valid point.
I think sometimes we get hung up with thinking that it looks a certain way or whatever, but it's like, is it costing you peace of mind, babe? Okay, cool. Then you probably shouldn't engage with it. It should probably be removed from your life because if it's disruptive, then it's probably not a thing for you.
Right. Yeah. And it sounds like she, like it is disruptive, like she's still trying to heal from the breakup. So, yeah, get rid of them. It's okay, he doesn't need to have access to your life anyway. I say, so, yeah.
Yeah. But the other part of that was like the greater question. Well, I guess more, I mean, the broader question of like, do you delete exes from social media? Like, is that weird?
I don't think it is.
Or is that weird if your partner is following their exes, like maybe two or three of them?
Yeah, I don't think it's weird to unfollow them because then like your next relationship, you don't have that problem like, oh, why are you still following your ex? You're all still following each other. Not a problem, because we don't, you know? That's fine, that's gonna pass.
But what if it ends amicably? What do you do?
Also, I don't think it's a big deal to keep him, but I also can see why you would not want to.
Okay, yeah. I definitely see both of it. Yeah, I think it definitely depends maybe like on the situation with how y'all end up. Because I guess if you in amicably y'all are good, like, oh, we're friends, we're cool. You know? That's fine. But I guess.
So I think it just depends.
I'm thinking about like engagement wise, is that an issue too? Like we just like to show each other love what we're still cool. And it's like, oh, they like a pic, whatever, or reply to a story like, oh, that's fire. You know what I mean? Is that weird or uncomfortable?
Liking the pic is okay. I don't know why we need to reply really to a whole lot of stuff.
Okay. That's when it can get a little murky.
Like, okay. Yeah, okay. Okay. If it's, I mean, if it's something like, you know, like a big life milestone or something like that, graduation, engagement, baby, I guess, if you consider that. You know, like, oh, congratulations. Happy for you.
Ho, ho, ho, what you doing? What you doing?
something like that, but.
Just like average posts that you post. You gotta reply to every average post. I post random shit all the time.
Yeah, but what if your ex is hilarious? But what if your ex is hilarious? You're like damn this nigga
I might do like a little hee hee ha ha, like a little laughing game, but I don't think things that's something that doesn't warrant like a whole fucking conversation. You know what I'm saying? Like.
Right, right, right, right, right.
Yeah, I feel you. I think for me, like it really would depend on the situation, like what are we talking about here? Otherwise like, yeah, I don't have any problems and like, someone their ex engages with their ex on social media or whatever, and it's like doing their thing, like I wouldn't mind. I would have my.
I'm not saying like ever, but like all the time, like you still do all the time. And it was like, damn, like y'all should still go out then. If you still talk that much and you still have that much, that much chemistry, like, damn, but like, you know, every now and then, okay, this is fucking hilarious. You know, hee hee ha ha.
All the time.
Yeah, all the time.
Yeah, I totally agree.
I'm not saying I don't have any communication. I don't care that much, but.
everything you post you reply to is like it.
It's like, just have a conversation. Why y'all wanna talk so bit? You wanna talk so bit.
So the young ones get back together, don't let me stop you.
Go ahead and get on the throne then, because if that's what it looked like at this point, y'all both heeding the fucking ha ha back and forth. I feel you on that. That is so true.
Right. All the hee-hees and ha-has in the world are not a mess.
Girl, please, that is so true. It's like if it's every now and again, y'all have a little hee hee, kiki moment. Okay, cool, that's what's up. But like, yeah, if it's all the time, it's like, damn, okay, this nigga must be hilarious. Go ahead and have, get the laughs off them, bitch, since y'all both funny.
I'll just be back. Yeah, babe.
All right. And I would like to see it because I wanna see how he needs.
Oh, motherfucker, look at that. He, me, is Michael Jackson.
Weehee, weehee. The only mother fucker that's gonna do it.
Hee hee. Hehehehe.
Ah, like, yeah.
I'd set you.
No, so I saw that and I was like, okay, that's interesting conversation. Like, I want.
See you. It's the point.
That is, that is, that's very, I feel like a lot of people probably ask themselves that, like, ooh, should I believe this person? Or how much is, how much conversation is too much after the breakup? You know?
Yeah. And it depends, but I think too much is too much. And I think you know when it's too much.
Yeah, if you're talking as much as you did when you were in a fucking relationship, get back together!
Just get back together.
Okay, I like it.
Baby daddy? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yah, yah, yah.
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Girl, put your mouth back. Sorry, y'all, if you know, you know.
I'm unfortunately a consumer of the baddies.
I was thinking about this though. They had a lot of viral moments to prove it.
But I don't know what to do. So, it's so bad.
But it was so, that really was so sad.
It was so bad, I hate that they don't get to like, fucking talk. Wait, what's the problem?
That's why I'm like, why don't they just set up a boxing ring and stuff like that? Like they, they have that girl out there really trying to be a host. And so they sit up there wasting her time every reunion because they don't ever get shit accomplished. She just be sitting out there looking pretty and stupid. And I hate it.
looking pretty and dumb. I truly do.
I hate it. I want better for her. I said this already.
I applaud Stevie though for going around and trying to like wrangle the girls in but honey, he had no luck
They never do. This is all going to be Karen.
Like he really tried.
He really, you know, give me a fuck.
I'm not gonna be caring.
a fuck. Ooh, that actually takes me into my baby daddy this week. Oh my God. And I wrote this note. However, it is very, this is exactly what my note says. It is prints from bad boy club for this post specifically.
Thanks for watching!
I hate you because mine was the other, mine was the other nigga on there.
The other life can be.
Oh that nigga! What's his name?
Yeah, like most cities or something like that.
Okay, yeah, yeah, Mo City. Okay, he's fine as fuck. Let's start there. He is. Prince Q2 though.
Yeah. I'm fucked.
Yeah, but he's a little weird.
But it was his earrings for me. The earrings that he had in the last episode, I was like, what is this, honey? I don't like it.
Oh, the near-interterranean? Yeah.
Oh yeah, this guy, Jay, damn, now we both chose that, oh my God, I'm so irritated.
I'm mad that I thought we had the same nigga again.
No, it was it was close.
with the same show.
But I sure did, I said for this post specifically.
It's pretty cute though.
And let me send you the post, yeah.
in the photo that I selected.
because it was like one of those one, you know, people post like a swipe open, swipe, swipe, swipe. It's all like same kind of angles and stuff, but honey.
I just sent it to you in the grave.
But he, for those that don't know who he is, he used to be on Love & Hip Hop Miami. But I don't think he's on there anymore.
I mean I haven't watched it but like I said I don't think he under it.
Okay, this is a great picture. These are great pictures.
Amazing photographs. They photographed well.
But it's the earring for me. The two giant cubic zirconias in his ear and then the one dangly.
Yeah, the earring.
They're just really big and there's two of them. Like one should be like a different size. You know, they're the same size and they're huge.
Right. The theme size is odd.
That's it. That's the only, that's my only feedback that I had. Other than that, chef kids.
Just smile to just-
Okay, now is Mo City on the gram? Is his name Mo City?
I have no idea. I have not looked up either of these men on the ground. I just... I paid the $5, and so I watched the show. Because I paid the $5.
Oh, okay, I see.
Yeah, this I mean, it's still a great selection. He's cute
very much so.
Very much so, very much so.
Man, I love Ratchet TV.
I'm sorry, it's work.
do except for the only rachetee that I can't get into is the other ones that where they were fighting over being musty and like the that now that's to yes there was a boys it was called like Southside niggas or whatever I forgot what it was girl I don't know what it was
What? I don't-
It was called like Southside Niggas or whatever. I was just a whole bunch of niggas in a house and they were beating each other the fuck up and one guy was smelling the other guy's mouth. He's like, yeah, it wasn't me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. After he just got done thumping over like, I guess being musky, it was the most insane thing. And I saw the clip of it. I have not watched the show and I just refused to engage because I'm like, if niggas are fighting over who's stinking and who doesn't, not for me.
Because at the end of the day, somebody stinks. And I don't like that.
I don't like it. I don't like it.
Oh my god, my stomach hurts. Oh my god. You should. They were trying on the beard. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like. I was like.
yes girl i gotta send you the clip it was the most i was like am i in the fucking twilight zone are we running out of things to write about
And then you said it was South Central Naked.
I forgot what the name of the show is, but I don't know. It's just it's something like that.
Blessings and peace to all of those producers over there, honey, they are working overtime in the security.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Mm-mm. Yo. That shit really made my face. I can't.
So this week we can say what? Shout out to the Bad Boys Club, North City, and what's the nigga name? Prince. And for that photo specifically.
Let me get it together.
specifically. That was a great photo. Most of the postmen liked it. Like, where is, where are you? Oh, okay. Well.
Um, I'm gonna be honest with you. I've seen a picture swirling around on Twitter, and I'm pretty sure it was a meat pick of his, allegedly.
He's got the, I had to scroll down, he's got another good take. Okay, okay.
I wasn't mad at the photo that I've seen, however, if I come across it again.
Oh, he's like a bodybuilder. Oh, he's huge.
Maybe that's why he don't end up fighting with nobody this season, cause he's so damn big.
Like the flex, yeah, no, cause the flex was kind of crazy. He literally got big.
He's not that big and then he like flex or whatever. I was like, oh damn excuse me He was a hell out of me Yeah, I don't know what the fuck I was talking about obviously
Oh shit, you're right, he is huge. Yeah, maybe he is a bodybuilder.
Lord. Yeah, shout out to the baby father. Father's Day is coming up. So shout out to our baby father.
Oh, when is it?
Okay, I was like shit. I hope we ain't miss it. Yeah
Oh, how you know you ain't shit? You know, you so shit probably be like, when? Like this Sunday? No, niggas, still nay.
I'm like, let me just check in. Shit, that is...
It's your man again
God, thank you Jesus.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Okay. For the meet For the meet today. For the meet today. I'll really be cracking up because I fucking can't sometimes. Oh, so for the meet today we're going to be talking about online dating and how it can be
A blessing and a curse?
I'm struggling to find the blessing in that, but yes. The good and bad, the ugly.
I suppose it would be you just trying to get out of it.
So cute of online dating and how to navigate that.
Yeah, and you know what, like, so I was helping my home girl this weekend and she was trying to get back out there and I was thinking about it like, oh my gosh, I never thought about like how it can be a little bit, you know, I guess tough and like how you want to put yourself out there. And it's like, how do you make your profile? What pics do you use? What type of prompts? Like, what's gonna be enticing? And it's like, yeah, it's one thing to be like, oh, just be yourself.
Be yourself! Do you have fun? Just put whatever. It's like, you have to have a level of some kind of seriousness, but be goofy. But if you are goofy, or if maybe you are a serious person, but you just like be true to like character. And it's like, fuck, what does that look like?
which is kinda hard.
And yeah, like what pics do you use? I know we talked about that like, you know, in previous episodes, but like having your pics updated. I think we talked about, you know, people were like getting professional headshots or something done for their pics and having somebody take their pics. But I think most importantly, it's like having.
pics that are updated or that look like you currently? I would say like in the last two years, unless you had like a drastic like difference, like if I dyed my hair today, I would put up pictures that had my hair, at least like some of them that was like, okay, I'm a blonde now, you know? Or like I had hair to my ass and now I'm bald headed.
What do you say is updated?
Like I would show that so you don't think like, oh damn, she got like some long ass hair and I showed up with a bald head. You know what I'm saying? Like just things that might kind of catch somebody off guard. Show up, I used to be 600 pounds and then I show up 150. Like where did you go? Maybe someone was looking forward to that extra.
Definitely. I agree.
Where did you go?
maybe somebody was looking forward to that extra 450 pounds. You know what I'm saying? Like, so.
That's very true.
Like, update it. Like, you got something on there from year 30 and you got pictures of you playing uh, basketball or football in college. Update that shit. Like, okay, it's good that you play. Maybe something that you could talk about on the day, but, or maybe in a prompt, if it shows, you know, a prompt, ask for that.
And I think that's a great point.
exclude that photo. That's what I'm thinking. Exclude that photo. So if it is a photo like that, exclude it. Don't put it. It's not relevant anymore.
Yeah, don't, no, it's not. So like something relevant, something from now.
So what do you think? Should you have full body shots, selfies, or are we thinking like you need to have mix of, maybe you have a full body shot, a selfie, a photo with some friends. So if you're social, then you should showcase that, yes, I have a social circle and I hang around, these are my folks, but I also, me, bad bitch, dripping, pussy tight, pussy clean, pussy fresh. You know what I mean? You wanna showcase all of that.
Yeah, all of that. I will say, I don't really love the group pictures just because sometimes the homeboy be like, you know, tag your homeboy. But...
I don't have any group pictures on mine. I have a selfie, I have a dog picture, I have a full body, and then I have like doing something like fun or adventurous or like, especially like a selfie, a hobby, you know, people use it to like their dog or their cat or something like that.
full body fun, like something, you know, displaying their personality or their adventurous side or whatever they like to do.
Yep, I think that's good. Because then it showcases the fact that you're... No.
Yeah, like not all five of them being gen pics, not all five of them being you in a fucking suit. Like we don't need to see you in a suit five times. Yeah, do something else, try something else.
Or you can mirror selfie, like you don't want to see those. No.
Do something else. Do something else. Okay, so then how about like the prompts? Like what kind of like shit do you pick? Cause you know, the prompts be all over the place. Like.
Yes, I'm glad they have like the prompts that you can choose and maybe make something out of it because I wouldn't know what to like just like to write in a bio. Oh that was stressing me out. I need like prompts to answer so I'm trying to think damn what's on that? I'll be on there.
I feel like selecting prompts that tell something about you. You know what I mean? Or that's interesting, or that could spark a conversation. So I guess sharing something that's maybe if you're local. Yeah. Yep. I like that.
Like the two truths and a lie. I like that. Like, like, like I think mine is like.
And I need to update this because I don't really speak Japanese like that for real. But it's like, I, no, I do know it, but it's like, um, I think it's like, I speak three language, three languages, I'm left handed and then something else. Like that's a lie. Something like I think something like I have like nine siblings or something like that. Obviously that's a lie.
But you do know it, though.
and uh so like something like that and then damn what else is on there shit i i don't be on there like that
But that's a good thing though, because it puts something that you all can like talk about as a conversation starter, so you could like, they could guess or you could guess or you know, something like that. It's something so you can engage and it tells something about you too.
And now they have like, they have prompt polls. So you can like, do like something like, would you rather, and it's like this, this or that, or pick our first getaway to three different destinations that you wanna go to. I know the best spot in town for pizza, tacos, ramen, like stuff like that.
Things that you can talk about. Exactly.
Yeah, like especially food is a way for people to connect. Sports, if you into that, if you a real sporty bitch or a sporty nigga, that's always a good way to do something like that. Or if you really movie and shit, you like to sit down and watch TV shows, you a binge watcher, that's a good place to start. I feel like any kind of hobby, like if you a hiker, put that in there.
But I also feel like you can't OD it with like, I feel like some people like to OD like, yeah, I like to work out. Just say you want a skinny bitch or a skinny nigga and move around. Like you're like, I like to work out. I'm just such a gym freak. I'm a fanatic. I used to see, I remember I used to see profiles and stuff like that. And I'm like, nigga, just say you don't like fat people and move. The fuck? This shit is.
I hate it.
Just say it! Yo, I seen that. What TV show is that? I think it's called like Love is Blind Where they got the two people in a room and they like talking back and forth for like X amount of time Yo The one nigga was in
and they'll ask questions, trying to weed them out and see like how big they are.
Yes, the nigga was like, I like to go to the gym five days a week. How about you? And she was like, I don't really love the gym. He was like, Mark.
Look, you'll be looking stupid, cause that's me too. I don't really like to.
Right, like that's the thing, is you don't know. It's like somebody could not go to gym and they have a great metabolism.
I remember this guy asked me, he was like, workout or whatever. And I was like, yeah, I'm trying to get back into it. He's like, what do you like to work out? And I was like, I don't.
I like I work out, but I don't like to, but you know, and he thought it was weird. He said, what do you like to work out? I don't.
I was like, wait, what? I don't like to work out anything, babe. I'm just in there trying to figure out what
I just do it. No, I, you asked if I like, what do I like to work out? I don't.
I don't, none of it. I mean, that bitch just trying to figure it out, love.
You said you work out. I do, but I don't like it. He thought that shit was hilarious. Hilarious. Oh, that's not even my best word.
Just scratch the surface, babe.
This guy's a sexy. You're in for a ride.
But yeah, I feel like just don't OD it on that. Like sometimes, I think sometimes people try and OD it on any particular topic. So like, I guess if you really like something in particular, some people tend to like OD and something like, I don't know, if you're really into, I don't know, wizards and shit like that, and that you make that a part of your whole fucking profiles. Like, no, you might like wizards, but is that your identity?
Yeah, now it's too late.
Unless maybe you do, I didn't want to be in a motherfucking wizard on a day to day basis. You might be on the wrong apps, my nigga. I don't think they looking for wizards on Bumble and Hinge and shit. I don't know. It's just may have changed now. I've been at the game. True. Yeah, it might be called Tender Potter or Harry Tender. I don't know, some shit like that. What's it called? Harry Tender.
Right, they might have a Harry Potter app for that.
Ooh, not hairy tinder. That's a sound a little... ..a little freaky.
That shit sound freaky.
Um, I was going to say, I think they have like a character count. Like that, that's important. Cut it off. We got to cut this. They do. They do.
Yeah, because some people like to talk too goddamn much.
Okay, so in here, we got some like, people that wanted some opinions under bios. They wanted to know like, okay, what y'all think it is about? Somebody said, here's the first one, 23 year old male looking for opinions on my bio, here's his about me. Did you have braces? This is in quotes, in quotes. Did you have braces? Your teeth are so straight. Person taking my picture at the BMV.
You have a nice middle arm vein blood donation lady. Those are just a few of the perks about me.
Those are all the things that people have said to them. It says, just graduated as an engineer, blah, blah, blah, and moved away from my small town, new to the area, so show me where the cool bars are. Pros, I don't care what other people think of me. Con, I don't care what other people think of me. If you read the pro in slightly higher pitch in your mind, you're my soulmate.
Any suggestions or criticisms are greatly welcome.
I hate this bio. Hate. Hate, hate, hate, hate.
Yo, it's giving pick me and it's like some really corny shit like corn corn corn corn big fucking corn
This corn, corn, corn, big corn, big fat fucking ear corn. Holy shit.
Did you have braces? Your teeth are so straight. Nigga, hop off. Nobody is on your dick like that because your teeth are straight and you didn't have braces. We get it, son. Your teeth are straight. I mean, come on, you're 23 years old. I hope you got it together right, babe.
You have a nice middle arm band. The blood donation lady. I wonder if there's just a few of the parts about me.
And this is why I'm pro prompt and no bio. That's why I'm like, hinge is much better because when you just let people just do this themselves, this is the fucking shit that we did.
But, there's a pro in this because now you know that you would never engage with this fuck nigga. Had it been a prompt, he may have been able to get away with it.
Maybe, but this is atrocious. This is an abomination. I've never seen a bio this bad. Honestly, just the middle part, like just graduated as an engineer from wherever university and moved away from small town, new to the area. Show me, like show me a good time, show me the good part. Like just keep that other bullshit that you sprinkled in there.
sprinkle, sprinkle. Nika says, sprinkle, sprinkle. He said, the pros, I don't care what other people think. The cons, I don't care what people think. And if you read that pro and I'm slightly higher pitched, you might be my soulmate. Shut up. Shut up.
Holy shit. Franco-Franco.
Alright, so we threw tomatoes at this one, huh?
Ooh, tomatoes. Tomatoes, I hate it. I hate everything about it except that middle part. Keep the middle paragraph. Maybe come up with something slightly less corny and more clever as like a little hee hee ha ha and the back. To like, you know, do like a little hee hee ha ha but oh wee. That was rough.
You said slightly more corny and more clever.
There's nothing wrong with a hee hee ha ha. It's just do it tastefully, you know? If you're gonna be corny, don't be this corny. This is bad corny.
and actually make sure it's like, ha ha and hee hee because this was, me too. When you read it, I was like, and I actually clicked on the link and I was like, what the fuck? I couldn't believe what you were reading to me. I was like, let me see this shit for myself with my own two eyes. Okay.
Oh you dead ass, you're not making this up, someone actually wrote this. What about like messages? Like I've had like some people be pretty creative and finding ideas and like that has made me be like okay I'm gonna give them a chance. Let me entertain you. Let's see what you're talking about because that was I'll see what you did that you ate that you ate that leg one.
I wish I was, honestly.
You ain't that bitch or nothing, but you ate that one thing. You ate that.
I feel like if you can slide and be witty, be witty, but only do it if it's in your personality. If you really not that nigga, then don't do that. Or if you not that bitch, don't do that. Like if you not a jokey-joke and you can't slide and keep up with the wit and that's not normally how you give it up, then don't do it.
Yeah, if you're just trying to do it to be cool...
I'm trying to think of that one prompt that.
That guy sent me from here.
And damn, what are you saying? I know I said it to you.
I think you may have probably put an agreement. I wish I remembered that shit.
Oh, oh, it said, if you had three wishes now that I'm here, how would you use the other two?
I was like, okay, that kind of let me entertain him. But he was a fun, maybe. He was so lame and so broke, but it's okay. Yeah.
That's it, too.
Lame and broke?
Damn. Double homicide. How you lame and broke? At least be a fun broke nigga.
You know what I mean?
Nah, bruh. I was like, oh, oh. So,
Or be a lame rich nigga. At least like that's at least entertaining. It's like, oh, you born as hell, but your money entertaining me. But damn, how you lame? How you lame and broke? Ha ha.
Oof, I couldn't do it.
And then this other one, friend, this wasn't, I didn't get this, my friend did. It said, are you a laptop? Because you're really hot and I'm concerned.
And I was like...
Maybe it's because my laptop really wasn't overtime, but I felt it because my should be high as fuck and I'd be wary. Don't die on me, it sounds so loud, so hot.
Lowkey, it's so corny that it eats. It's corny enough to eat. Like it works.
And I was like, he kind of ate that.
Cause you're hot and I'm concerned. It's the concern for me. Cause when your laptop be hot as hell, do you not be freaking out? Like damn, my shit is really hot.
It's the concern.
Whenever I get to edit in my shit, be like, I be concerned.
Right after the podcast, I'm like, I should be lying.
I'll be like... .. ..
in the honey.
Yeah, he ate that. He ate that one.
Yeah, yeah, that was...
So stuff like that. Kind of corny, but...
Yes, but it's cool. It's like a dad joke, but like on the better end of it, you know
I think I put it in.
Oh, seven of the best ways to start a conversation on dating according to relationship therapy and insider reviews.
Um, I'm not gonna read all this. That's a damn show. But one, so ask about something specific on the person's profile. So those little prompts that you put in there, information about that, like answer the two truths and lie and they're like, that's travel destination place or like, where was this picture taken? You know,
I feel like that's a really easy one to say, like, where was this picture taken or, you know.
Or give me guess the place if you think you know or you've been there before. That's always a way like, yo, was this in Italy?
Mm-hmm. Yeah, so use the prompts or pictures to start a conversation and ask a question. Number two says to offer up a fun would-you-rather question. So you can do that. Or maybe they have a prompt in there or a poll that you can answer. Automatic conversation starting.
Okay, so you hit them with the question?
Yeah, I've experienced that before people say like, good run.
So like you DM them and say, hey, would you rather stuff acorns into your asshole or plug jumper cables onto your titties? And you're like... What the fuck?
to be but um option b but jump me
I'm not filming.
Just call me a Tesla. That's how we feel about it.
Because the egg learners was like, they not shaped right? They sound like they rough.
Mm-hmm. I wouldn't want to shove it in.
I'm just imagining pulling an acorn out of my ass, you know?
And you know how like the little hat on the acorn kind of pop off?
Yeah, I was thinking about that. I was thinking that like, I was thinking that the little hats would kind of brush by and start to break as I pull the acorn out of my ass.
Now you got the end of the acorn in your head.
That's my thing, and now you got the wristache, and you're sucking your booty out.
Yeah, I'm going to do option B as well.
I don't want that.
Yeah, be it is. Give the jumper cable. Papa Tron. Jesus Christ, I really need help.
So you're asking like a would you rather? Like I mentioned with the poles on there on hinge, it literally is a would you rather in itself now. So it's like.
You know, it gives like three options on a poll. Different question. But yeah, some of the examples that it said was like, would you rather spend a weekend at home watching Netflix and P.J.'s or being up and out early enjoying the day?
I'm trying to see it.
I'm just being nigger. We outside!
We are back! Yay! Oh my god, option C. Um... Another one is just like, ask a general open-ended question.
What was your relationship like with your mom when you were six? That's open-ended.
It makes it, but like, I don't know.
That's a random thing to have.
I don't really love that one. It said like, it can be something as broad as asking someone how their life is going right now. What?
That's weird. I hate that one. I hate it. We're throwing that one out.
I hate it.
Oh, okay, this one's a lot too. Share what you were looking for in a partner.
That seems very forward.
Yes, and it's also like something that you can put on the profile, I believe, like looking for, you know,
I'm gonna waste that ass.
Looking for a life partner, a long term relationship, short term. What's a long term relationship versus a short term relationship?
What's a long-term relationship versus a partner? I'm just confused.
But like what is considered short in it? Like, okay, I'm looking to be in a relationship but not like a long time though.
But just short term just like briefly and you like alright bet me too nigga. Like I don't know what that looks like Is that like a year and a half
What does that mean? Like, why not just be like, I'm just, yeah, just say I'm still trying to figure out my dating, which is one of the prompts, like figuring out my dating goal. Just looking for friends. Like, those are literally some of the options. So just say that. But what the fuck is a short-term relationship? So you plan on it to fail? I don't understand.
Yeah, that's true.
Okay. Just hate it.
You're gonna go out with me and you gonna be like, alright, it's been about six months. That's short term. See ya
Yeah, we're all good here. What's the point?
Um, okay, number five, ask what they're looking for. Okay. Wow. This is I guess I should have read all the way through this because I fucking hate these. Um Diving with a deep question. Oh y'all don't have no boundaries. Um, oh my god, this is a horrible, horrible article and number seven, ask to move the conversation off that.
First of all, I will call a cop, immediately. And I will block you. I have moved the conversation off of the app, obviously, before, but if you say that like right away, because I don't really reply much on Hinge, that doesn't, because now I don't want you blowing up my phone now too. You've already blown up my Hinge, and I don't take it like that.
I don't need you doing the same thing with my mobile number. So, no, I need to get to know you first before we move on to the end.
It's gonna be a pan.
maybe even meat first before we move on.
Because some niggas are weird. And then now they got their number. And they weird.
Niggas do be weird. And they be up to no good.
They do. They do. Is that very true? Okay. We have some reddits for these types of scenarios.
Yes, let's see... Um...
or just in general.
Okay, here's one. This is actually a question. So this is actually, maybe we did talk about something like this before. It says, might wear a butt plug on my date. There's a guy I've been seeing, although him and I have fooled around a little bit, made out a couple of times, he's also figuring to eat me out. Okay, hold on. We have never had sex and I definitely wanna fuck him tonight.
A friend recently got me some sex toys as presents and one thing I was given was a Bejeweled butt plug. I thought it would be cute and kinky surprise if we did a hookup tonight and he saw it. But I'm on the fence because I don't ever wanna freak a guy out or be a turnoff if a girl was just like, what would you be turned off if a girl really was wearing one?
I don't think you would be turned off. I just think it would kind of be like, oh.
Wasn't expecting that.
Yeah, I don't think he's gonna be turned off, but he'll be...
Yeah, just kind of a shocker, but I don't think it's kind of enough to answer all the words that she's looking for.
I think it also depends, like what type of vibe do you wanna give off? Do you wanna give off like on the first fuck yell, I'm a freak bitch, I'm a whatever. Like, yeah, like, you know what I mean? Like, I feel like that's, it can come off as like, oh, this bitch might be kind of freaky if you got a butt plug on in the first fuck.
Yeah, 100%. So yeah, just take that into, take that into consideration.
Didn't that go through anybody, like?
Yeah. Like, do you want to come off as like, yo, I'm a freak bitch, spit on me, do whatever you want to do. Like, you know, do you want to come off as like, oh, because it could also give me the impression like, oh, it might be a lot of expectations because this bitch coming in with some freak shit. Like, first time she fucks you, she got a butt bug in. Who know what else she trying to do?
Yeah, like where do we go from here? If this is baseline and we're supposed to go out from here, good Lord, you know?
Yeah, I think you gotta be careful. Yeah, you gotta be careful with that one. You do.
Yeah, I think, you know, do what you want, but yeah, keep that in mind. That's a lot. It's a lot. Not everybody is down with a butt-push, you know?
Okay, I'm seeing a profile review. This is in dating over 30. It says, would you include these things in your profile? Someone I recently dated for a bit mentioned that I have lots of pleasant surprises that I don't come across on my old profile. I don't mention some of these things directly because it would feel a little cringy, but to be honest, it feels like every profile says something along these lines, which makes it just sound samey.
I'm already exhausted.
Level of physical fitness. This is the profile. Level of physical fitness. I work out nearly every day and it shows running, powerlifting, yoga, hiking. Definitely doesn't come across in my photos. Okay, this is what they wrote. Though I do mention fitness in my list of geek outs. Career success. I have a really well paying career that I enjoy, but my job title is a little obscure to anyone outside of my industry and people don't usually know how good it is. I try not to even bring it up or hint at my financial success on first dates.
I'm pretty well traveled and cultured. Another date said that I say a lot of surprising things given my upbringing and given the comments similar to pretty much all of the long-term relationships. Listing number of countries visited, et cetera, always seems not self-aware though, because there's definitely someone out there with a higher number or really just shows to have money. My profile must not be complete trash since I can still get dates. Sometimes even people I find attractive, but I'm still single. So what are your thoughts?
How would you feel about those things being included on a guy's profile?
Are they being listed like that? Like bullet points? Oh okay. Cause that's like uh, ew. Last thing I'm gonna do is the bullet points on someone's profile. Dating profile.
No, not listed like that, but...
Yeah, I guess basically he's saying like, he's talking about like, how do you list talking about like your level of physical fitness, career success, and being pretty well traveled and cultured in a profile. And because people have mentioned that it's surprising with I guess what he looks like and how well he does in those arenas, I guess.
I guess it's not an email.
I don't know. I feel like it is very difficult to write a bio from scratch. But also I feel like
Some of those things don't need to be in a bio to know about the first interaction. Something you can talk about on the first day, like your job and what you do for work. Maybe just talk about your favorite trip or something like that or a place you want to go to and not list every...
country that you went to or whatever. Like that's fucking, are people okay? This is why you're dating online. And it's probably not going anywhere.
That's what I'm thinking because, and that's the other thing, why do you want, that's the motherfucking problem I think with online date. People always think that everything about you needs to be pasted online and that people need to know it upfront. No, you do not need to have all the information. That's the point of getting to know somebody and having layers, you should be layered. I shouldn't be able to tell everything about you from your fucking profile. I should be intrigued by it I guess, if I'm dating, but I shouldn't wanna like.
Know every I should know everything and that's the problem just in general not even dating People be posting their whole lives and you know everything about what the fuck they doing every day online. Everything doesn't it's not online It's not fodder for online Have some fucking privacy
No, I don't want to know everything.
No, you have to leave something. Yeah, be a little mysterious, my God.
Have some mystique! What the fuck happened to mystique? Niggas wanna be seen so bad.
You big man.
I think I think I came into this episode feeling some kind of way.
You're gonna get upset.
You're really upset.
Where is the mistake?
It's not so real though, like, that's too nice. That's too... There's gotta be another way to like...
you know, show yourself off. That's why I was like, these prompts are great. Because if you just put responsibility in other people's hands, that's what the fuck you get.
This is a scenario where it's amazing to put the responsibility in someone else's hand.
and then you get something like that, that bio from earlier, like what the fuck is that? You need guidance.
Yeah, that was an atrocity. That's what happens when you let niggas write their own sentences. But I also think there's power in that though, because it lets you we keep out. You're like, this nigga has poor grammar. This isn't a complete sentence. This isn't actually spelled right. I mean, it's just a lot of opportunity.
the grammar. You're just weird and corny.
This is weird!
Like, weird's okay, like I'm okay with weird, but that was just bad.
But yeah, it just looks like weird in what way though.
Yeah, that was bad. Now I'm gonna try to advertise for Hinge. Okay, yeah, I don't have to put me on the payroll. Because I'm really shouting out y'all prompts. I don't know if other ads have prompts and stuff too, but...
Weird and low.
I think bubble changed their game and they on the same type of shit that they are that they are. Now, I think.
Yeah, definitely take, you have to take the responsibility out of these people's hands and, you know, provide a little guidance for questions and answers. You know, it still allows people to be creative. Several prompts to choose from. It can be answered many different ways. So.
And let the prompts that people selected tell the story too, because there's a particular reason why they picked that prompt. That should tell you something about them too.
Right, exactly. But yeah, just the bio is crazy. I'm sorry. Don't don't write a bio. That's gonna be my advice. If you're wanting to do online dating, go to an online dating app that does not have a bio that you write. Just don't. Just don't. Because I wouldn't do it, mine wouldn't be good either.
First of all, it would stress me out just thinking about having to make a bio. I don't even have an Instagram bio because it's stressing me out. So I'm like, this is me now. This is me.
Oh, I do? Mine is... Mine is actually extremely obnoxious! Dude!
Because now I have to commit, this is me now, this is who I am, oh my god, this is on my page.
What do I do now?
Yeah, that's true. It's like, what do you say? That is so true. So yeah, use the apps, I guess, that don't make you have to write a bio. And if you have to write a bio, just know that this is gonna make or break you, babe. It's gonna make or break you. And if you do need help on a bio, send it to us. We'll tell you if it's good.
It really is a major blow.
Don't send it to me. Oh yeah, yeah, for review, yeah. But don't send it to me to write it. No, no, no, no. I thought you meant like.
Oh, but that AVE is good though. We know a good one when we see it.
Yeah, yeah, I can tell you if it's good or not, but like don't I can't write it. I'll have an anxiety attack and then throw up I hate shit like that
Yeah, it's like a resume. It's the same thing. Basically, find a new job is like dating. You're like, is this really going to work out with these makers?
Yeah, because it's like, oh, okay, this is me. I can't really change it. You know, it's like, oh, it's done and then I got to submit it and then that's what they have. That's the reflection of me and there's nothing else I can do about it. Like, it's in their hands. That, that freaks me out, makes me want to buy on it.
Nauseous, nausea. Okay, you guys, it has been another episode of Wise Freaks.
Did you forget the last one?
No, I actually had a brain lapse and the reason why I had a brain lapse is because it's honestly you guys I'm gonna be clear It is 9 p.m. At night when we're recording this and I'm hearing ice cream truck like sounds and I'm trying to figure out a It's dark. Why the fuck are they selling ice cream like this and B is 9 Why are they selling ice?
Um, yeah. And I think he's asleep. It's Wednesday night. Again.
and see what kind of ice cream they got.
I don't know. I wonder what kind of...
It's something about that ice cream shake. I got those, say I'm so scatty, I got those strawberry shortcake ice cream things from the grocery store.
Oh my God, so good. Oh my God. Honey, when I get a box of those, it's been so long. I'll eat like at least two or three of them.
I ate two. Back to back.
You have to. They're just quick little snacks anyway.
two back to back and I was like, no, I need to stop.
Mm-mm-mm, they're so good.
They're so good. I saw those, I was like, you know what?
I have to like be strategic when I eat those stuff. Because I know I will get up in the morning. I'll blow that toilet up.
I'm not gonna give a bullshit, but... Okay, you like to talk about that.
Yes! You're not lactose intolerant?
I don't think so.
What I know.
I mean if you ate a tub of ice cream, how would you feel in the morning?
Like, I'm never like, oh, like my stomach, like, oh, like I'm in shambles like that. Like that's lactose intolerant, right?
Oh, yeah, I mean, that's how I experienced it. I'd be, or.
Like I might have to like, I might have to go.
and it might be a little more urgent than usual. But it's not like painful or like.
Oh no, I feel like I am, I'm not, listen, shout out to my ladies, but I feel like I'm experiencing childbirth out of my ass. That's like, I feel like I am going through fucking like, like I literally feel like my asshole like begins to contract at some point where I'm like, oh my God, like I'm so like, so intolerant. Like I'll be keeled over, draws off everything, like butt ass naked, wedding, having a.
Thank you. Bye.
No. I don't know.
having a panic attack on the toilet talking about, I'll never do it again, bitch. I swear to God. Yeah.
No. So that doesn't happen to me.
Oh my gosh. Honest, I wish.
No, it's kind of just like coffee, like coffee kind of gets things moving.
And really, like, the only dairy I eat is ice cream and cheese, and that doesn't really do it. I will say I had cereal milk with, like, actual milk.
Little weird. Little weird. And my face broke out. I was like, okay, so dairy. Never again. Um, don't know why I did it anyway. I got like a like a small thing of dairy because I wasn't sure if I got the right almond though.
So I guess if you don't.
and I needed a backup.
So maybe you ain't.
I needed a backup just in case like that milk was not the right almond milk.
And then don't fuck your stomach up!
Bless you. Bless you.
I was okay. I'm not lactose intolerant. I could eat ice cream, eat cheese all the time.
I don't really drink. I haven't drank milk in years, so I was scared.
It's a mutation, apparently.
because our bodies technically aren't supposed to digest it, I guess. I don't know. I just work here. I mean, I just live here. I just live in this.
No, they're not.
I just live here. I'm just a resident.
I just live here. Just a resident. And sometimes a bystander.
It's a innocent bystander collateral damage Yeah guys thanks for listening to our rant about like those talents and like those intolerance You know, we just go one thing about us we're gonna go off on a tangent, okay and That's just what we do. That's how we do that
So if you have good pussy and you sling good dick and you're often good booty hole and it's tight and it's right, you can find us at wise freaks on Instagram, TikTok, and Twitter. And you can follow us all there. We drop a new episode again for those that have good pussy, great booty hole and sling good, good, good pipe every Tuesday.
And if you don't, if you don't have good pussy and maybe your booty hole's a little blown out and it's just not, it's just not what, it's just not, it's just not. And then, you know, maybe, and maybe the dick don't slang, then you can also find us here every Tuesday with a new episode and on all the social sites at Y3Pod. It's just, don't let it stop you. Just know, we do this for the-
not giving away photos. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah. Don't let that stop you. It's just...
But the niggas and the bitches were good pussy, good booty hole, and slayed a good pie. Okay, you guys, we need to get the fuck out of here.
Please get this man out, please. Please! Get him out! I can't. Get him out of my fucking dream. I can't. Bye!
Okay guys, bye.