This weeks episode was inspired by our sister Keke Palmer's situation with her baby daddy and Jonah Hill and his ex. Boundaries are so important y'all. We get into what appropriate bounders are and how there is a fine line between a boundary and being controlled.
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Hey y'all, welcome to another episode of Wise Freaks. It's ya stepdad, Burn aka Poppacito.
And hi guys, it's your, um, am I step mom? I don't like how that sounds. Stepmother, um, the lieutenant per, niece EF baby. What it do?
I'm dead. Yes, y'all, you are tuned in to another episode of the World's Greatest Podcast, Wise Freaks, where we talk about freaky shit, most of the time. But we have a whole packed show today of a variety of different topics. It's been a lot of shit going on, just on social media and life and all that. Yeah, lots of good conversations.
I like how that sounded.
There's been a lot of shit going on.
All right, so shall we get into it?
Let's get into it
So what is this question here we have?
Um, okay, wait. So the first thing I did have. Yeah.
Um, it basically was like, can it was kind of the essence of like this idea that an occupation can be a like red flag. And I don't even want to go back to this conversation of the whole bus driver shit. That's it. It's so played out. But it said if you went on a date with someone and they told you what they did, would you agree that certain occupations are automatic red flags or no goes? Um, I don't know. What do you think?
Um, yeah, this kind of reminds me of like this. It was like a Twitter post going around like, basically like they were saying name like the type of occupations or type of jobs where all the employees sleep with each other. And it was like Chrysler, GM, fucking, uh, nurse, like nurses and shit like that. Um.
But I can't think any, any red flags. I mean like, I feel like stripper kind of would be a red flag.
Yeah, that's a red flag. Okay, what about if he was like a personal trainer?
That's a wrap. I love you.
Yeah. It's giving me a red.
Okay, why is that a red flag?
red flag just because and it really would depend on the relationship and like the trust that you have but like you always see those things that people talk about like personal trainers be too handsy and shit like that and it's funny because I've had personal trainers that were like that and I was like
And there were just a little hands and you like, okay, that's a little much baby. But I mean, go ahead and spot a bitch.
I don't think you needed to do all that, but okay, thanks for helping me complete my set. I don't know.
I don't know.
Yeah, sometimes some of these personal training niggas, they all have, sometimes them have like the same sort of like, you know what I mean? It'd be like, they'll be like an ex athlete that was like that nigga at their time. But now they're doing personal training and you know, all of that. It's just like a vibe sometimes where I air to them. You like, just fuck this nigga and go, this is definitely not something I'm taking home, but you know.
Yeah. Or they just be like a nigga that lift weights and they just really don't know what the fuck they doing for real. Like to really train someone else you just you just big and people are coming to you because you big.
Cause you be. But you don't know what you're doing. Cause you be.
Could you be? Yeah, like.
Like do you feel like you could be a personal trainer without really knowing anything about like.
Physiology or kinesiology or like...
No, that's why I would not do it. Someone would be like, oh yeah, I'm gonna work this muscle over here. Like I don't even know the name of that muscle, baby. I mean, I might be able to tell you something to do that, to work it out, but it may not be the right thing. I ain't gonna be using the right terminology. Sometimes I don't know the way you supposed to be holding this or holding that. Like, I don't, I couldn't do it.
Yeah, that's what I just feel like it's a lot more that kind of goes into that than just being big. Like you're big, you're in shape, but like...
Just being big and fit in this bag.
Just right now, not to say that you couldn't, but just right now, do you think you could personally train somebody?
I wouldn't feel comfortable doing it because I don't feel like I have, I guess, the expertise. Like I wouldn't feel comfortable taking somebody's dollar to do it.
Exactly. So that's what I feel like a lot of these niggas be doing. Yeah.
But... I can help you!
So, personal trainer.
Let me see what some of the other ones were saying. Personal trainer. Somebody said incompatible lifestyles. Anything over incompatible lifestyle. That was my first thought too, is like anything that I guess kind of has conflicting schedules where we just don't coincide would be really difficult. You know, like it just in general.
I feel like...
But somebody said a flight attendant. Okay, yeah, I don't think I would be able to do it.
Yeah, because they'll always be gone.
I mean the perks sound amazing but...
I don't like the great perks but it seems like they would be gone a lot.
Mm-hmm somebody say any finance bro Some of the niggas in finance do be a doing
They just kind of be weird because they're just kind of wired to do numbers and math and shit and just sometimes that's a little... if you not a numbers and math type bitch that's kind of... don't really mesh.
Yeah, and forgive me for casting this blanket over it too, but sometimes them niggas be cheap.
Oh! Not you messing with all these numbers and then you be cheat.
And then she, cause they always crunching the number and then be cheap because they're like, Oh yeah, I know how much that gets your cheap ass out of here.
They always crunching numbers.
Like this is 40% of the blah blah. Okay, why are we doing that? Like this, just pay for the fuck it.
Alright. You gonna cop this sweater or not, nigga?
Get a bill.
That's a good one. That's a good one. That does seem annoying.
Okay, that's definitely one, a cop. I definitely would not do that. Any kind of law enforcement, I'm not doing it.
I was gonna say that like a cop, yeah, I can't. Even if I knew you wasn't like a piece of shit, just the line of work is like the stress in that.
Yeah, but also I just, I don't trust it.
And plus I feel like that's also like anything like kind of dangerous. No, me either. I just know. Somebody said a firefighter. I'm like, I feel like that could be cool, even though they do have like, because you get your space to yourself for maybe a week or two. And then the nigga come back and then y'all can do your thing. And then he could
I'm dead. Yeah, I feel like that could be cool. Because they don't work like every day.
No. Or it's like a period at a time, like it works for like seven days.
But you gotta keep in mind that they work like.
Yeah, but they'll work like holidays and stuff. So like think about it, like pretty much every holiday, they gotta be on the fight, fighting fire.
I don't like that. We supposed to be on vacation.
Why are you fighting?
I could see that. Yeah, because that's really like that frontline word. Oh Lord, that is so triggering.
That's so triggering. I don't like this.
I don't like that.
But yeah, I saw that post and I was like, okay, this is an interesting conversation to see what the fuck people
That was good.
Yeah, it's not necessarily the bus driving or the fast food. It's really the other professions for me. Ooh, somebody said add in a military or paramilitary.
Yeah. Like go ahead, ride a bus, honey. Just don't let that be your end goal, baby. Just don't let it be the end goal. Dream big.
I think that's big fix.
Not that that's not. No, I don't want to get into it.
Ooh, and truck driver.
But I don't think I have anything else, so.
Yeah, that's all I can really think of.
Oh boy, I'm embarrassed.
I'm embarrassed but I'm not.
Okay. Is this-
Would you like to go first?
So I'm going back in my timeline here just to see what I had going on. And I'm going to choose. So I'm going to go back to my timeline.
Choose wisely. Oh, oh that was random. Oh dear.
It's very random, but I actually had him written down in here. And I'm like, I haven't scrolled up this bit to see what the fuck going on. But Loki, I actually do remember, I don't mean it's always been like, kind of like Loki sexy, like he got all the tattoos and like, I like his, um, his vibe.
And so I am I'm gonna cash in my Tamera card this week. For this white man for this white man. My my Tamera AmEx this week. Are you cashing in yours as well too?
I think I'm gonna have to cash mine in this way.
I'm going to use my one Spirit of Tamara get out of jail free card this week because my baby daddy this week is Will Poulter.
I really hope it's worth it.
Okay, will-polter. My butthole is extremely clenched right now because I'm ner-
I don't know who this is! Okay, what is going on?
I see something, but like...
Wait, wait, wait. Wait, wait, wait. It's gotten better. So.
to be. Not too much. Not too much.
like, I see where you're headed, but then I'm like, I'm crawling through a few of them. I'm like, okay.
Maybe this was a bad time.
Don't do it. Don't do me.
Don't do me. Hold up. There- Oh, recently. Um, in recent discovery, there has been-
Like this right here, I feel it.
Oh yes, the recent- it's the beard and the goddamn mustache.
Yes. In recent discovery there has been some potential there that I may have seen.
Oh this too? What the fuck going on? This is not the same nigga. It is, but it is. He had like a-
This is not the same Kenny from Where the Miller's. Okay?
Oh god, that's who that is? Yes, that is who that is! I didn't know this motherfucker was British.
Okay, that has me shook, but also his glow up.
Yeah, um, well, he really turned it around Because he was very goofy looking and now Like this
He definitely turned around. This is an example of where Very This is how you can turn a bad thing around y'all Like yeah
What? How you do that?
And this is how you can get better with age, like this.
How do you do that?
Sometimes you just got to go back to the drawing board and just kind of recalibrate. And that's what this nigga did.
Cause that was a goofy looking motherfucker. I'm not even gonna hold you. He was goofy looking as shit.
not even gonna hold you.
I definitely think it's the length of the hair. It's a lot of things that happened. It was a whole, what are they? 1, 3. It was a whole 1-8.
There's a plethora of things.
Job well fucking done.
Oh my god.
I was so nervous, but they need to change this cover photo. This is the shit I have about the internet. When they wanna do you wrong, they will do you wrong cause they have no business putting this photo up as his first one. That is fucking proud. Knowing that man don't even feel.
It was so fun. Cause when I Googled it, when I Googled it, I was like, I'm gonna have a hard time trying to stay my point on this one. Oh.
I was like, I'm like, damn, he about to chew my ass.
But when you... No, but when you start digging through it, yes. But these initiatives, this is not okay. I'm on the internet, Wikipedia, whoever puts this together to not do this to people. It's not right.
If I was him, I would be calling. I would be calling Google like, hey look, some things have happened. I've changed. You need to update these pictures. Like this is insane. I have changed. You need to update these pictures. I don't look like that no more.
I've changed. This is not me anymore. I've changed.
For real, because that's foul. That's real foul. Woo girl, I was so nervous. The name. You see what I'm saying?
Yeah. Damn, I was like, damn, I'm about to get cooked. I was like, I gotta find a picture fast. I'm about to get cooked.
I was like, cause I know you cashed in this Tamera card. I'm like, so it's gotta be good.
There is just no way my sister is gonna come like this, cashing in this thing like a cup. Hehehehehehe.
Oh my God. I was panicking. I was like, I'm about to get cooked baby. Oh my God. I'm looking for something fast.
Oh my god, I'm so gay. I understand.
Okay, so the baby daddy, Adam Levine, we were on the mountains of caucus today with Adam Levine and Will Holter.
Mm, mm, mm.
from the mountains of carcasses. Ooh.
Sometimes you gotta go to the mountains.
Sometimes you do and there's some great finds.
Alright, shall we dive into the meat?
Into the meat we go.
This is meaty. The meats are meaty.
It is, it's quite layered. We're talking about boundaries versus control. And there's a couple of different situations. Yeah.
a sandwich if you will.
So yeah, basically, kind of talking about boundaries versus control in light of recent things that have happened in the world of social media.
Right, so the first one, which was the big conversation and they dragged this nigga up and down the TL, Kiki Palmer and her man. Now what is her man's name? Cause that's, I just, Kiki Palmer and her man, I don't really know. Maybe let's find that, but.
I just call them Kiki Palmer baby daddy.
Oh my God. But yeah, so for those that don't know, to sum it up, basically Kiki Palmer went out to the Usher show as one does. And it was a real ladies night vibe. She got her Q heels, had on her Q outfit. She went out there. It was a little see through, it was a little sexy, but as it should be at the Usher concert, I mean, come on. And she had her ass out.
and her man had a comment. He was lying.
Yeah. The cheeks are out.
I'm gonna pull up exactly what the man said.
He, his tweet was, so the problem is, okay, if you had a problem with what she wore, that's fine, discuss that in private. He took it upon himself to go onto Twitter and tweet, quote tweet the video of her with Usher and say, it's the outfit though, you a mom.
what his tweet was.
First of all, like, excuse me?
And my first thing is like, okay, a mother can't go out to the concert and dress sexy and feel cute. Like she's still a mom. Her status. Yeah.
Why is it, why are you saying it on Twitter? Like why are you quote tweeting this and putting it on Twitter?
Didn't you see her before she left? Or at least the phone call or a FaceTime? Because I'm just making an assumption. I'm sure she wanted to talk to Leo, the baby.
Yeah, right. Like there was probably time to check in there and then again, why did it have to go to social media?
Yeah, and that's the thing about this. Yeah, because now that you've put dress in social media, you got now it has to be kind of dealt with that way because
Like, why are you being weird?
it can look crazy for her, you know what I mean? Or she may feel like it looks crazy for her, or like, you know what I mean? Like there's issues. It's just not, it just stirs up more than it needs to when we could have just talked at home.
yeah it was just kind of classless because it was unwarranted uncalled for i don't feel like the outfit was that bad okay her booty cheeks were out okay
I don't think it's that bad. Like, it could've been worse.
Okay. I don't think it was that bad, but like, okay. It's the outfit.
It wasn't that she was dancing with Usher. Not that, it was the outfit.
But in that same breath, he has also posted her like naked while pregnant and posted her twerking.
Facts. Facts, because he was holding the camera.
on social media.
So we kind of have to have the same energy if it's about the outfit and her being naked. If it was about her dancing on Usher, dancing with Usher, then say that. You were uncomfortable with the dance. But don't make it about the outfit then.
Right? Because it's not about the outfit then. But if it is, then let that be it. But then we have to have some discourse because I've worn other things, different places. You've seen me, you've taken the photos, we've been in them together. And they've been very much reflective of what I already have on. So what's the difference then between now, then and now?
Yeah, so long story short, Black Twitter dragged his ass up and down the timeline. He was called everything from broke to a nanny. And they just did him so bad. I don't think he deserved all that. Like they was really acting like he didn't have no money and he was just a staying nanny and he was homeless.
Yeah, like it wasn't even his kid and he didn't. Yeah, like he's never worked like they really did go. But, you know, I will say that is really how, you know, I think this generation gets down for Kiki Palmer because that's our Kiki Palmer. You know what I mean?
and like he ain't have nothing. I'm like, that man probably has some money.
I don't think he thought that they was gonna come like that.
Yeah, I didn't think he really knew the power of Kiki Palmer. I know he felt it though, because he deleted his Twitter and everything.
But there, this still plays on the stillness conversation of control and boundaries, right? And this, it seems like this is an instance of more so control than it is a boundary, because you want, I can do certain things in certain scenarios and it's okay, but when it's in maybe a different situation, doesn't seem like it's okay. And this is, I guess, our presumptions that we're imposing, but just generalizing the conversation, though. It's like that, for instance, is more of a control thing, right? When you think as opposed to a boundary.
Yeah, or like not even at all like maybe he did have a boundary but like why are you putting it on twitter? The whole thing is like why are you bringing it to social media? And you know how miss palmer don't miss palmer don't even get down like that
That too, yeah.
Right. And you say they did a podcast together.
She said in a podcast with him. Yes.
Oh, and like, that's the challenging thing also, because I was also thinking of it this way to like, couples can have a disagreement and can agree to disagree on things and still be in a relationship and not be the end all be all you can work through certain things like this, obviously, I think it's something that's work throughable. But it's the other side of yes, he put it on the social media. That's the point. And then it becomes way bigger than it should be right.
Because now it could have been just a smaller conversation. Like we agreed to disagree. Like, hey, I didn't really care for what you had on. You know, like, OK, let's talk about it then. What about it was uncomfortable? Was it the situation? Was it, what is it now? Because I think you can agree to disagree on that and get that right. But the way in which it's done can be controlling. Because you're not identifying what your boundary is. It's a control thing.
Yeah, he fucked it up for himself because like you said, it could have just been a simple conversation between the two of them and not all of fucking Twitter and Instagram and whoever else But like, okay, so like Say he did just say to her like I didn't care for your outfit and she's like, well, I'm not about to Change it. I'm actually about to wear that same shit
again out tonight. I got another one in red and I'm wearing that tonight. You know? What if, you know, what if a situation like that happened?
Oh, see, that's where you have to really dig in and figure out what is it about what they're wearing that makes you uncomfortable. And then you gotta figure out, is it more so in you or is it in them? You know what I mean? Like, it's gotta be something deeper because I don't know how you compromise with that. And it's like, I don't want you being presented a certain way because I'm with you. And I guess, you know, under the idea like, oh, we're a reflection of each other.
and I want to be perceived in a certain way. That's always messy for me.
I don't know. I think it goes up. Yeah.
I don't know how to feel about that in terms of like clothing.
I think that's weird.
Like I wouldn't know how to go about that.
I mean, I think it's compromisable in clothing. I mean, it could be more than it would be, like, let's say, a behavior. Like, if you're like, hey, I don't like how you flirt at the bar and how you respond to people. It makes me uncomfortable. And you don't think that you're doing anything. You're just being nice. And you know what I mean?
Yeah, easy fix.
That's an easy fix, but I feel like the clothing piece is a little different because it limits how you are expressing yourself. Like this is how I express myself. You don't like my mode of expression.
It's too sexy.
and then just tying it to like, oh, you're a mom so you can't wear that shit anymore. Said the fuck who?
And that's the other piece. That's the other part of it that would be hard to deal through is like, don't tell me how to be a mom or make me feel like I'm being less than a mom by wearing this.
Yeah, I don't like that.
Yeah. And he shouldn't be telling her how to be a mom because he's not a fucking mom. He's the dad.
No, you're a dad. Stay in the dad's place. You're a baby father. Stay in a baby father's place.
It made me fall in this place. Yeah, it's really, but yeah, I just really, and then I feel like that's even a whole nother layer is the whole like, you're a mom. Like, no, hold on a second, because now I can't do certain things because I'm a mom. Like, I can't go on turn up. I can't look a certain way because I'm a mom. Like, that makes me less of a mom. You bugging me. I don't like that. You bugging, nigga.
I don't like that.
And that's where I feel like we're getting into like the control part. That's where I feel like it's more so control than boundaries.
Mm-hmm. And here...
because that's something like had I known up front, oh, okay, well, once you start, you know, being with me or you become a mom, you can't go out and be wearing these things anymore or you can't do this and do that anymore because you a mom.
Like it was perfectly fine when, you know, it was just, we were just having fun and being together and enjoying it. But now that it's a little more serious, I got to undo who I am. You know what I mean? Like to make you comfortable in who you are and your skin.
Hell nah. Suck my ass.
Or let me know up front. Like.
Yeah, let me know up front. They're like, hey, this is cool for right now, but you know, if we were to ever be together, you wouldn't be doing H, you know, X, Y, and Z. And it's like, oh, so you don't like X, Y, got it. Note it, just know that we'll never be that.
Cool, cool. Like give me the option so I can leave if I so choose to.
to which that goes into the other figure. Yeah.
Which brings me to the next point.
Um, so in light of all the things that happened with Kiki Palmer, her baby daddy, uh, Jonah Hill's ex girlfriend felt the need to, um, kind of make this about her now and release a old text message between her and Jonah Hill.
It's closing somebody.
like how like he was setting some boundaries like okay I don't like that you do this and that I'm not comfortable with that you know if basically if we can't compromise in there or you don't want to do that I am leaving the door open for you like you can leave if you are not okay with that if not then these are the boundaries that I would like
to set and record.
Like this is, yeah, this is my parameters on what I would like for the relationship and how we engage from here on.
And I didn't feel like that was controlling because you said upfront, well, I guess like they were already in a relationship, but you know, you kind of laid it out there. Okay. This, this, this A, B, and C. If not, then D, the door.
And I feel like that's cool Let me know up front. Okay, when we get into a relationship You can't be doing all that and this and that when you become a mom you can't be doing this and that Okay, cool
Okay cool, so now I know I have the choice to decide what I would like to be engaged in. Or I could decide like, oh, I'm really into that. I fuck with that. Like, I'm good with this sort of lifestyle. I'm into the same idea together. You know, we can decide that that's, oh yeah, I fuck with all that. Yeah, I'm with that, let's go. Yes, the power of choice.
But basically that sent Twitter into another tizzy because they were kind of talking about, you know, people were split between like, oh, that's controlling to, he's just setting simple boundaries.
But I did pull this up.
I think it's boundaries and that's why I pulled up the definition right here. Well, just like a, just not a definition, but basically talks about what boundaries are versus what being controlling is. It says the difference between control and boundaries is that control is meant to make others what you want them to be, but boundaries make it safe for us to be ourselves. And then here's another, another piece. It says boundaries are never punitive or controlling, but it's sometimes not easy to tell the difference between a healthy boundary.
in an attempt to manipulate.
So it's not, you shouldn't feel punished or like you're not able to be authentically yourself, then that would be more so, I guess, a control because it's limiting you being who you are.
Okay, so I wanted to pull up the text for reference.
because I hadn't seen it in a minute. And I'm just reading it. It's the way it was written out. Cause like not you put in bullet points, like, okay.
We love an organized man.
like stop this is not an email sir um so this is what it said first of all i feel like this is kind of being smart and also this is from december 2nd 2021 like girl shut up why are you making this about you just looking for clout just trying to just trying to ride a black woman's wave
That is so insane.
I'm just looking for a cloud. Cloud.
Rent due, cable due. Yeah.
at her fucking downfall like Anywho at her fucking expense
rent due, cable due, everything.
So it says, if you need, colon, surfing with men, boundary lists, inappropriate friendships with men, to model, to post pictures of yourself in a bathing suit, to post sexual pictures, friendships with women who are unstable places and from your wild recent past beyond getting a lunch or coffee or something respectable, I am not the right partner for you. If these things bring.
Bring you to a place of happiness. I support it and there will be no hard feelings These are my boundaries for a romantic partnership my boundaries with you based on the ways these actions have hurt our trust Now I feel like the shit that he listed is some fucking bullshit like shut the fuck up. Like what are you talking about? But I respect Absolute bullshit. I was like, let me go back and pull this up because
I feel like the shit he listed is absolute bullshit.
I couldn't remember the exact context of like what the boundaries were. They're absolute fucking bullshit. However, I do respect him giving the option. Like this is, I'm uncomfortable with this. So if it can't be compromised on, then there's no higher feelings. We don't have to be together.
Yeah, me too.
This shit gives me the fucking egg. I don't like it. I don't want you to do that Um, and that's fine. But also what nigga? Fucking bikini shot bitch can't have fun
I respect that.
However, the context is, nigga what?
Friendships with women who are in unstable places and from your wild recent past beyond getting a lunch or coffee or something.
What the fuck?
What the fuck is an unsteady-
First of all, you're not about to tell me who I can't hang out with and for how long.
Yeah, but who's to judge the stability of a bitch? Who's to judge another bitch's stability?
and like where we can go.
Or it's like, okay, we used to turn up and hoe together and take niggas down together. Okay, that was back then. We don't do that anymore now. Like, why is that? Yeah.
No, that's still besty!
Like why is that such a problem? Just say you want a nerd bitch and move nigga.
Why is that a problem?
Just say you want a loser and move. No, but this is a no bikini shot. Like damn, bitch can't even go with it. You can't.
Oh my God. He said to model, you can't model.
surfing with men. Chop that up, we're not doing that.
He said, if you plan to surf and there's men at the beach, go home. Pack up the fucking car.
We're not doing it. Pack it up and take the water with you. Pack up the entire beach.
like the things he listed is bullshit. However, if it were reasonable things, they're like-
And you gave the option like, okay, I don't think this is going to work between us because of this. This is this. These are my boundaries. We can continue to, you know, see where this goes or not. That's fine. I like that. Lay it out plain and simple. You can even put bullet points. Because I don't want it. I'd rather be out and open and like put it on the floor. Put it on the floor.
That's fine. Yeah.
Yeah. Put it on the floor.
instead of you acting out, being passive aggressive, and you know, not saying what the fuck it is.
Yeah, and my thing is like, I feel like that's that can be a fine boundary to say like essentially, it's the way you put things really, because you get to say like, hey, I'm not really into party girls. I like bookworms. I like, you know, nerdy bitches that be at home, you know, I like home bodies. I like, you know, or whatever you want to say, like, I don't want I don't like I'm not big on clubbing, because that's not my lifestyle. I don't club in party. I'll be at the crib. So I would just like the same thing. So okay, cool. I'm not a partier either. So I'm down.
Like the blood nigga, let's go. And we can walk.
Yeah. Now that's normal.
That's a decent ask and that's a boundary you can have. And I think that's realistic to say, hey, I don't want a party animal. Or you can be opposite, like, yo, I don't want anybody that's in the house. Like, I want you to be out in the streets and you need to be hitting the city. Like, I be out, you know my lifestyle. I get this shit popping. Like, we gonna turn up. It's like, oh yeah, I'm with that shit. Come on, nigga, let's go. Tear the club down. Yeah. Tear the club down.
Yeah, Tana clever. Yeah. So like, that is fine. But I feel like a lot of times people be knowing that they're not compatible. And then they get into these relationships and then they're like, okay, yeah, you're gonna have to cut all that off. Like, yeah, you like to go out every week and you like to be clubbing and shit like that. And you like to serve with niggas. Well, all that's just going in today. Because you my bitch now.
All that shit's going to hell, because you're mine and you need to have your ass in the house. It's like, wait, hold on a second. And in fact, now you really need to be in the house because you're a mother. It's like, wait, hold on, nigga. What are you doing right now? Like, no. Yeah, I do think that though, because I think people will get into these relationships and they think like, you know what, there's some good qualities and I might be able to change this nigga. Like, you...
Cause you want my
I don't know.
You can't, you have to accept people for who they are and what they bring to the table. Do people grow and evolve? Yes, they do. It may not be the same, you know, things change. Things change you, but the overall essence of somebody, you cannot change that shit. Like they are who they are and you can't fix and scope that shit. Especially if they're not willing to.
but I feel like... Okay. Go ahead.
And the other flip side of it is, if somebody's not down with it, there's another bitch that would be. I promise there's somebody else. There's another nigga out there that will be with that. May not be this one.
And that's fine.
And it's A-OK.
There's somebody out there who will.
love you the way you want to be loved if you want a fucking slave there's one out there for you
Guaranteed there's somebody that's willing to submit
But I think boundaries, boundaries of course are good in relationships. Boundaries are good in every relationship. I feel like every dynamic work, friendships, relationships.
Like, everything. Yeah.
school, everything, literally. Like shit, you might even need to have boundaries with the bitch that do your nails, you know what I mean? Like you got to have boundaries. You can't be free balling life with no boundaries. Life is just, it's too complex for you to be out here with no boundaries.
Life will fuck you up.
I really, really had started setting boundaries with work. I told myself going into 2023, like, look here, I'm about to be setting some fucking boundaries around this bitch. If I'm feeling stressed out, and overwhelmed and overworked, and y'all give me too much to fucking do. Guess what? I'm not gonna be doing all like you gonna have to choose one or two to get done, but all three ain't gonna get done.
It's not. You got to choose the most pressing items because I just can't be. I'm not in five. I'm not five different people. I can't be stretched this thin. And you just got to you got to have that balance. Otherwise, you just can't even do the work because you like what the fuck.
Yeah, because I'll be damned if I'm feel like I'm ready to launch myself out of a window for a job again. I'm just not gonna do it because ain't nobody paid me that much yet. Like, I don't know if there is.
Yeah, for real. I'm not doing that shit.
Girl, now I don't know if there is a price on that. Well, it might be. It might be. I mean, I say it is, you know what I mean, but it.
I mean, well, let's see. Let's see. Put a couple more zeros on my paycheck, you know? And let's see. Let's see.
Well, I'm willing to find out. And let's see about it.
I might be willing to lose my hair for that.
But yeah, I think it really is a.
So yeah, guys, let us know what you think. Boundaries versus control. Yeah.
So really, I guess, going back to it, it is so important to, again, have these conversations before you get into relationships and create. Ooh, shit. Do I lose you?
Mm-mm. I'm here.
Oh, shit, your picture gone. Hello?
Yeah, your picture left. OK, now you're back. Did I leave too?
Uh-uh. It's just...
Oh shit. No!
I'm going again.
Okay, mind blowing. No, you're back. You're back.
Oh my god!
Oh Lord, pray I please that they connect to Jesus.
No! I'm here! I'm here!
Okay, I think you're good now.
Okay, well, y'all, we have lost a little bit of signal for a little bit, but we are back. But the important piece of that is though, basically just create boundaries and have more of these conversations and relationships. And understand, you gotta be able to understand the difference between a boundary and somebody being controlled.
And you'll know if you have to limit or pulling back from you being yourself, then there's probably somebody being in control of him, babes.
Alright, should we get into these reddits? Because I know you have some interesting things. I'm scared.
Yes, the reddits.
Oh my god.
Okay, you wanna jump us off? Pick one, anyone. Hey!
Okay. We'll see.
Oh god, this is long as fuck.
Okay, so this one.
I hate when they be doing that. Like, just get to the point.
This one is in Swingers. So it says, is it normal? So my wife and I have been going to the same swingers club for a while now and we met many couples there and swing with three of them. So recently she and I decided to go solo that we have fun for the evening there and when we are done meet back with each other at home.
So she went looking for some fun and so did I. Fast forward about maybe an hour or hour and a half. It was quite difficult for me so couldn't find another couple to swing with. And I was going through the rooms. I walked into on and there was my wife. She was with three guys. They had her tied up spread eagle on the bed and blindfolded. A guy on top of her.
and having his dick in her mouth, I just walked in and sat on the chair, slightly close to the bed and started watching. She didn't know I was there because she was blindfolded. They were really doing an amazing job on like she was totally horny and moaning and the mood with them.
I couldn't help but think that was so hot.
I'm sorry, this man was in there turning the fuck up.
Yeah and she didn't know he was there. He was like this is fucking lit. Yeah. Um I couldn't help but think that was so hot. I started playing with myself and in a few minutes they went from BJ to double to triple penetrating her in front of me. Lord have mercy Jesus. Oh she is a soldier.
Eh, eh, eh.
Two of the guys knew me that I was her husband and I think they liked the idea that I was watching so they started doing her rougher. After that they removed the blindfold and my wife saw me and was surprised but she continued. It was so hot watching her moan, scream and come multiple times by then that I even orgasmed twice to the show. So I want to ask is that wrong?
It was so-
that I enjoy such a thing.
You're not wrong, baby. You're good. As long as she cool. She was in there turning up.
Oh my god, was that written by Adam 22?
I've been seeing those messages or whatever is going on with him and all that be going on. I guess like I guess they'd be into that and they were like trying to they were just talking about social media. I guess one time he she had fucked some like big Nick some big dick nigga. And I guess she was sucking his dick and looked over at him and was like you like that little dick or something. She said something like that or whatever. She was like you like that with your little ass dick and then she went back to eat. I was like, oh, she did not.
I might've would've died. I might have would have fucking croaked. I would have like disintegrated into my feet.
I would just evaporate.
Like when Thanos snapped half of them niggas in Avengers. Just dust.
Just be fucking dusted. That's just like the video I was just playing before here where the guy was like, I can smell your pussy from here. Immediately, immediately evaporating like I'm just gonna just out of here.
Oh my god I would die. The embarrassment.
If my man told me he could smell my dick from here, I'd die.
That's so embarrassing. That's just a different level of embarrassment. Like, damn. Like you at the sink and I'm sitting on the toilet and you can smell it from here?
Wait, why is she just thinking like that?
I would have just immediately melted into the toilet bowl and flushed my fucking self.
Oh my god, but this guy, this is an extreme example of... Is it voyeurism?
I think it's a couple of things. He's a voyeur and also a cuck. Yeah, a cuck, heavy on the cuck. And definitely a voyeur. Definitely a voyeur, also gang. I would even have to say group play. I was about to say gang rape. I'm like, that is no longer appropriate to use. That is not. Yeah.
He's a cuck. Yeah.
They was... Whoa, whoa, whoa.
But they used to call it like gang bangs. I don't think they called them that anymore. They used to call it like group, do they?
Gangbanks. I think they do.
I don't know if they were like, trying to get rid of like dangerous language. Like, oh, it's no longer gang banging. It's group holding or whatever. I don't know. You know, that we trying to like fucking everything is so damn sensitive now. Everything's so sensitive. Like shut the fuck up. You know what the fuck we mean. Get your bitch ass out of here.
Group play. I know, I think so politically correct. Shut up!
Damn, this is not the place for all that. It's poor. The fuck?
Like, get the fuck. Okay, so here's the thing.
Yeah, um, heavy on the cuck, man. He said he busted two nuts Watching three niggas go to work on his way. He said they did an amazing job
Heavy on it.
It was turning that shit out in there. And she came up out of her blindfold and saw her nigger there and looked like, hmm, let me get back to work. I know that's right. Yeah.
Okay, so this here's this next one. This is kind of a boundary thing. I don't know
That was rough.
This one says, I'm not sure if my boyfriend is using consent against me or if I explained it wrong. My boyfriend and I have been together over five years due to our respective jobs. We go through periods of long distance every now and again. So a few weeks ago after one of these six-month chunks of time, we reunited, went out for dinner, had drinks, whatever, started having sex. They were into it. Clearly they missed each other. At some point I asked to get some lube because we were, because it had been going for a while and...
He just wanted to keep going. And he said that he wanted to make me wet so that I didn't need the lube. It hurt though, so I asked him to stop. He asked, didn't I miss him too? I said, yes, but it hurts. So can we get the lube or stop? Anyway, he stopped, seemed really upset. We talked the next day. I bought up consent. He apologized, seemed really genuine. The issue is now that he won't come near me. He only reciprocates. He initiates, but then I initiate, but then he won't do anything unless I explicitly ask, even a kiss. I feel confused because I didn't mean.
to have this, she said, I just wanted to ask then. I said stop and didn't try to negotiate with me. I don't feel like I can complain because technically you're VF wanting consent at all times is a good thing, but is there a way that I can bring this up without sounding like a contradiction?
So wait, she wanted to use lube and he didn't?
Yeah, he wanted to make her wet and she was like, well, can you stop or get the lube because it hurts? And then he just was like, okay, well, I'm just going to stop because I don't want to use the lube. I just want to make you wet. And that was the end of it. And then.
they had the consent conversation and he was, oh, I'm sorry that you, whatever, that went that way. So now he only does anything with consent.
And she's like, is he using consent against me? Because she said he seemed to she told him to stop. She said we talked the next day and I brought up consent. He apologized and seemed really genuine because I guess he she told him to stop and get some move and then he kept going. And then she was like, no, really stop it hurts. He was the one to make you wet while he was still fucking her. And then she was like, no, seriously stop. Then he stopped, I think. And then that's when that was done.
Where'd the consent part come out?
So that's why she brought up the consent situation.
And now he's like, he won't do anything.
He won't even stand next to the bitch unless she ask him to.
Huh. I don't know really what to make of that.
I mean, I guess that's a good thing, but...
Like, does he feel like... Yeah, I don't-
I think, yeah, he maybe feels like, oh, I don't want to cross any boundary. Now he feels a little weird because of the whole situation.
Yeah, that was weird. I don't know.
I think they need to have that conversation again, because clearly something is missed along the lines of communication. She needs to kind of be more clear about whatever the consenting conversation is, I feel like. So he has a better understanding of like, boundaries, God damn it.
boundaries yeah why can't he just go get why couldn't he just go get the loot and i'll see what the problem was
Look at that.
Yeah, that's why I don't understand. Like, why would you pass? My thing is, why would you pass up some pussy over getting some lube? Like, just go get the lube, nigga.
I'm very confused by that.
It wasn't like she was like, get off of me. I'm grossed out. It was go get some lube. This hurts.
I don't know. I don't know what to make about that one. That was weird.
Yeah, definitely a strange one.
Um, we almost at the time. So this was something really quick that it said, what is something that's way too sexualized? Somebody said a popsicle, man, just let me deep throat that shit in peace.
And honestly, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna agree with some of these that people were saying because my first thought was a banana. I think that one's overtly sexualized. Like I still now, I'd be like, I always think, I was driving the other day down the highway and I watched this grown man take this banana down and I was like, you know what? I just happened to glance, you know how you just drive and I glance over and I'm seeing, I'm like, okay, that does look weird.
where he was eating a banana in the car?
Yeah, he was eating a banana in the car while he was driving on the highway. And I just see all him take the whole thing down. But I'm like, that's probably what he took the whole thing down, girl. Like he, I saw him. Yeah. I don't know why he was doing that. And he had on like a nice suit or whatever. So maybe that was why, but I just happened to glance over and see that, but that is probably one of them that's overtly sexualized, but also I'm like, I see why after glancing at that shit.
Oh he took the whole thing?
That man did not have to take that banana down like that.
Yeah, yeah, if I saw somebody literally just take down a whole banana in like one swoop, I would be like, whoa, what the fuck?
Like, shit, what do you have to work? Nah. Ha ha ha.
for your popsicles, like suckers.
anything phallic shaped like just let me why can't I just suck on this in peace without it being why I gotta be nasty
Yeah, like why does it have to be nasty? And like, yeah, definitely. It's not nasty. I'm just eating something like relax, pump the brakes, babe. Somebody said massages.
Okay, a massage, I could see that it can be over at least sexualized, but also I don't know. I mean, who else gonna do it? Like, everybody want to get brought down every now and again.
Right, yeah. Sometimes it's not about being sexual, it's kind of just like...
touch. I mean, I think people think like, that's actually like, that's part of human nature. Like we need that, you know, they're saying we're human beings touch star. Yes, I live Dan, everything's coming full circle. Or that part.
Yeah, it might be touch star.
or such you might be sore.
Just want a good massage, you know? I love me a good massage.
Somebody said that machine in the gym that spread your leg open. Oh.
Oh yeah, the uh, the Hippaddoctor?
I'm glad when they, I appreciate when they face the wall.
So yes, yeah, yeah.
Because when you're not facing the wall, you're just like cranking, cranking it, cranking it. Yeah.
And you're just getting into you cranking your shit open. And yeah, you be sitting up perched, got your shit cranked up because I like stand up and I live in my head, my shit tooted up. I'm like cranking this shit open. Now I turn I look over it and I'm like, this is so
This is weird. I hate this.
Especially somebody watching you crank your shit open. It's like, okay, this is great
That's why I hate going to the gym. It's not even like, I don't want to work out. It's mostly like anxiety. Like I just don't want to, I just don't want to go when there's people there. Oh.
And it's like hard, you gotta like really try and block people. I just really, I just be throwing my music on just like really trying to block people out because I do get the anxiety too. Cause it's like, Oh my God, this is too many people. Everybody's trying to do the same thing.
Ugh. I hate it.
Uh... What else?
Somebody said the word daddy.
It do be th- it do be th- it do.
Um, somebody said step moms and step sisters. What the fuck, nigga?
Y'all bitches gotta get out.
I think that might be it on that snow. Cause what? Like, why y'all gotta spoil the fucking moment?
Is everything okay?
Somebody said this is separating. Y'all need to go to jail. Y'all are horny.
Oh, this is a good one. Breastfeeding.
I agree. I so agree. And you know what else is overtly sexualized? I think also sometimes just like, like women, like just let women be, like over sexualizing women's body, all of that. Just like let women be. If they wanna be sexy, let them be sexy. You know what I mean? Like that overtly sexualized. Especially like the breast, I think too.
Alright, why can't you just be a little sick?
Man got that, boy got...
Or just like in general, like some women can wear like certain things and then like another woman that puts it on who's like a little thicker, then it's like, oh, like they're being fast or it's perceived like a different way.
Yeah, yeah, and it's like, yes, that. And it's like, no, it just looks different on different potties.
Yeah, no, I'm just not built like a surfboard, so... I don't know. Like, this is just how it looks on my body.
Yeah, like I just got all this ass on me, so it's like, you know.
I don't know what to do with it.
City's bustin', ass bustin', like, it ain't, it ain't, I'm just built like this. Pfft. Heheheheh.
Look, I didn't choose this life. It chose me. I don't know what to tell you.
Alright, that's all I got.
That's all we got guys. Um. Thanks for fucking with us on this Tuesday. On this lovely Tuesday. Um.
Please find Fabulous Fat Tuesday.
with us again next Tuesday. Here on YSpeaks podcast, follow us on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok and yeah, I'll see you next week. Hoes. Bye.
Alright y'all, BAAAAYYYY